Site Columns

By Carolina
August 22, 2005 - 11:29 PM

Hello World!

Hello, folks.

Let me tell you about what happened to me last week. When I came in to work on Thursday, I found that someone had broken into our office. The front door was cracked open, and they'd managed to break two locks and an extra door in order to steal from us. Oh, I was pissed. Of course, they didn't take much, as we're barely getting by down here, but still. Whatever they took, we worked hard to obtain, and these people just waltz in and take it. I know I should be thankful I wasn't here when it happened, but no. I want my money back.

Well, I was encouraged to call the cops, even though I knew that would be fruitless. They actually showed up pretty fast, but it was pretty obvious to me they would do nothing about it. It's hard when you watch CSI, I guess, because immediately I started pestering them about the things they should/shouldn't do, while they did nothing but stand around and ask the same question over and over again.

Cop #1: Miss... Rivera. Are you the owner?
Me: No.
Cop #1: Where's the owner?
Me: She's on her way.
Cop #2: Is she the owner?
Me: No!
Cop #2: Who's the owner?
Me: [grumble] I bet this place is crawling with fingerprints.
Cop #1: Yeah, probably.
Me: ... Maybe you could take a few.
Cop #1: ... Yeah, we don't do that.
Me: Why not?
Cop #1: What did they take, like 20 bucks?
Me: Uh, that's not the point.
Cop #2: So... are you single?
Me: What?!
Cop #1: We're not trained to do that.
Me: Any monkey with half a brain can lift a fingerprint.
Cop #2: Carolina... what a pretty name.
Me: Ew.
Cop #1: Miss... Rivera, I'll just walk over here and pretend to write something important on my little notepad while my partner hits on you. Is that okay?
Me: Alright, get me a pencil. They reran Jackpot last night, I know what to do.
Cop #1: Yeah... we don't do that.
Cop #3: Sorry I'm late, Bob. Is the owner?

UGH! Why are they so incompetent? Okay, I know cops are not trained to do CSI work, but would it kill the government to have a couple more CSIs in this island? If not, train the freaking cops to do that kind of work. Should've bought that CSI kit when I had the chance.

Talk CSI Files threads

Below are some of the topics currently being discussed at Talk CSI:

- There are so many detectives on CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, they could have their own spin-off. But if your man Brass were to leave, who would you choose to be captain?

- Light your candles and say a prayer for the beloved and departed Aiden Burn at the CSI: New York forum.

- And if you're a science geek and would like to set CSI straight on some of their mistakes, make sure to visit the Forensic Science board.

More topics can be found at the Talk CSI!

CSI Files Two Years Ago

Here's what was happening back in late August of 2003:

'CSI' Worst Show On TV, Says PTC
The Parents Television Council has never been a fan of CSI, and two years ago named it the worst television show for family-friendly viewers. The PTC accused the show of being too violent and graphic. "There are ways you can deal with these [storylines] without having to be as graphic," said PTC Research Director Melissa Caldwell.
'CSI' Costumes Give Sin City Class
The Vegas CSIs too well dressed? Not when considering the wardrobe of the CSIs reflect the latest Vegas trends. "Obviously they�re the best-dressed crime scene investigation unit ever," said CSI costume designer Eileen Cox Baker. "The ensemble pieces are put together to look like these characters just pull them out of their closet every day."
Petersen: 'CSI' Won't Become A Soap
CSI star William Petersen promised two years ago the show would never become a caricature of itself. "Since the start, we wanted to make sure the show didn't tilt over into a soap thing," he said. "If the show does go eight or nine years, if we do stuff in year two or three, what are going to do in year five or six? A lot of time shows will do something to get ratings and they'll have some big moment between two characters where they kiss, then you're stuck and [the writers] never know what to do with them."

For more interesting stories from that week, check out our news archives.

Poll Results

Below are the results of the most recent CSI Files poll:

Which general 'CSI' storyline would you like to see resolved this season?
Grissom and Sara move it or lose it.	43.5% - (785 Votes)
Nick deals with the events of 'Grave Danger.'	30.5% - (551 Votes)
Danny's alleged mob ties.	8.2% - (149 Votes)
The one where they work on a case and nothing personal happens.	5.7% - (104 Votes)
Horatio tells Ray about Madison.	4.8% - (88 Votes)
Calleigh deals with the events of '10-7.'	4.7% - (86 Votes)
Stella's mysterious past.	2.2% - (40 Votes)
Total Votes: 1804

,Thanks to those of you who voted on our poll! For our next survey, let us know which career you're looking into because of CSI,

Happy Birthday!

This week, Marc Vann (Conrad Ecklie), Carmine Giovinazzo (Danny Messer), Jonathan Togo (Ryan Wolfe), and Wanda De Jesus (Det. Adell Sevilla) will be celebrating their birthdays (on the 23rd, 24th, 25th, and 26th respectively). Happy birthday to all from everyone at CSI Files!

Television Listings

Tonight at 10:00pm, CBS will be repeating CSI: Miami's "Shootout." Here's how the network describes the episode:
"When gang-related gunplay goes down in an emergency room, Horatio and the team must find the gang members responsible. The evidence suggests that an orderly in the hospital recognized the wounded gang member, who possibly killed one of the orderly's friends and alerted gang members to his location. However, the evidence doesn't match up and the CSIs discover that a cheating girlfriend, not gang retaliation, may be behind the shooting. Meanwhile, Ryan questions a mother in the E.R. after her story regarding her child doesn't add up."
On Wednesday at 10:00pm, you'll be able to watch a repeat of CSI: New York's "Hush." CBS describes the episode as follows:
"Mac and Stella are called to a crime scene for a truck jacking and instead discover the crushed lower half of a body. The team must stop operations on the busy dock to find the other half among the containers. In a rare occurrence, the reclusive Dr. Hawkes leaves the medical examiner�s office to help with the retrieval."
Finally, on Thursday at 9:00pm, CBS has scheduled a repeat of the original CSI's "Down The Drain." This is what you can expect from the episode:
"A man's badly twisted corpse is found in a city storm-drain tunnel following a severe thunderstorm, and the discovery leads to another disturbing finding: human bones that may have come from a murder victim. As more bones are found the investigation focuses on identifying the victim and pinpointing the location where the body was dumped."